Just Keep Swimming...or Sinking...

Our chapel officially closed yesterday... sounds all a little too familiar!! Same thing happened in my other area and the missionary work got a whole lot harder so I am trying to have a positive outlook on the next weeks here. It is going to be really difficuly because the chapel we will attendis a 20 minute drive away but seeing as we are in a poorer area, almost no one has a car or money to pay $20 for an uber every Sunday. 2 ward members have cars but they are both full and don't think they will be able to help take people to church. BUT miracles are real! We had an exhausting week and 6 people commited to come to church but when we went to pick them up yesterday, not one ended up coming. Also got pretty sick this weekend and didnt get the chance to rest so it got worse.

 So as I sat in our tiny sacrament meeting all of the exhaustion and dissapointment and pain I was feeling I just started to cry when they announced that our chapel was also closing. I am giving everything and want so SO bad to just be able to help someone come to churhc, progress, be baptized, something. Just to see someone, anyone, really  progress. But with the problem getting worse and the work getting harder and harder sometimes I feel like everything I am doing and the sacrifices I am making are for nothing, are in vain. But last night as I went to pray and not gonna lie, sort of complain to God about everything that was happening, I remembered the week I chose to study about the Atonement and sacrifice that Christ made for each one of us. Studying about the fact that he sacrificed for every single one of our sins, our faults, our challenges, everything. He felt literally every single thing that we as mortals pass through in this life, and did it all willingly because of the perfect love that He has for us. And how many times do we put that sacrifice to waste? How many times do I make it in vain? How many times do I let my stubborn will or pride keep me from repenting, from forgiving, from changing? Christ, my brother, sacrificed everything and died for me, just to make it possible for me to live with my Heavenly Father again. To make up the difference between my imperfection and the perfection that is required to return home someday. Everything has already been done, paid, justice was satisfied, and all He asks is that I use His Atonement. That I follow him with my whole heart and let Him make me more than I could do on my own. I'm comparing our problem with Christ's sacrifice in Gethsemane and on the cross, but at the beginning of my mission, my dad told me that I was 'learning to love as Christ does.' And for that I am grateful, that even though I feel so freaking frustrated sometimes, that I get to experience and really understand a little bit of the love that Christ has for us.

Sorry for the rant but thought important to share, especially as we are approaching Easter and celebrating that sacrifice that Christ made for us. I love my Savior so very much, and I am slowly learning and understanding just how much he loves me.

I'll spare you guys a novel and include pictures from the rest of the week :)

Love you all and HAPPY early EASTER!

Sister Lauren Mather

Photos:
when you only have one mirror
leadership meeting!!
coconuts from messias and marisa
10 months!!
our buddy Deiveyson
division with sister Ferreira!